Connecting the dots


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We often try to find out the answers to some questions that may seem vague or they might seem to be the most precious thing a man should know. What is life? What is the purpose of life? How to keep me happy all the time?; these questions bother us when we have achieved what we expected and not sure what to do next or when we are feeling low or depressed. Every person tries to judge himself on the basis of his surrounding. Here the surrounding is very important because it plays a key role in determining whether he is satisfied with himself or not. What is the surrounding? It is determined by the person himself. For example, let us consider a man whose friends are well-to-do but he is not able to afford things which his friends can because of the simple fact that he doesn't earn that much. Now he leaves in a locality where the financial condition of most of the people is just like him. So if he considers his surroundings comprised of his friends then he will be miserable; he will be ashamed of himself which might compel him to stay away from his friends. On the other hand, if he considers his surrounding to be the people residing in his locality in that case he might be happy because he doesn't suffer from the feeling of losing anything. It is the nature of a human being to compare himself in terms of everything; maybe wealth, qualification, and sometimes looks also. These comparisons might lead a person to severe depression. Generally in this condition, one might confuse himself between happiness and success. Let's get back to the 'surrounding'. Suppose that man has considered his surrounding to be his friends who are well-established in their life either running a great business or doing their 'dream job' with a wonderful package. Now I would like to highlight two terms here one is a desire which I would address as burning desire another is a wish. Four terms- success, happiness, burning desire, and wish and it's time to connect the dots. First, let's understand the difference between burning desire and wish. Scenario 1: An engineering student from Tier 3 College has a desire to get a job in a FAANG company. Scenario 2: That boy has a wish to get a job in a FAANG company. In scenario 1 he will go through the process of achieving his goal. He would research how to study, from where to study, how to prepare himself to be that kind. Every day he will slowly move towards his goal. He will enjoy the process of developing himself although it requires a lot of hard work and sacrifice. In scenario 2 he was simply fascinated by the fact of getting a job in a FAANG company. He was intimated perhaps of the salary or the perks one enjoys being a part of that company. Perhaps he had seen one of his senior or elder brothers and he wished to do so. Now what he will do? He will not get involved in this process, it's simply like an 8 year's old boy who wishes to be an astronaut. So he will see pictures of astronauts in colourful books and imagine himself to be a part of an adventure in space. Here our nineteen-year-old hero might think himself to be working in that big company without even working for it and that's the difference between a desire and a wish. Now sometimes one can't distinguish between this desire and wish and failing upon any of these gets depressed, he starts to hate himself. At that time that person dies to get the taste of accomplishment, fulfillment. He becomes extremely self-critical and doubts everything about himself. He finds it very difficult to take any decision. He longs to talk to his friends but at that time he barely talks to anyone. He gets trapped in this infinite loop. Now you will say was prioritising desire over wish and at the same time I have said failing of any of these might lead to depression or better to say a feeling of emptiness in life. But desire comes with a possibility of success it shapes the person which might help him in some other future endeavors. But wish doesn't have that benefit it is only beneficial if one can convert his wish to desire.

If one is successful he might be happy. If he is happy he need not be successful. Yes, I am deliberately playing with these two words because the definition of these two terms is relative. One has to figure it out all by himself and that's life and the purpose of life.

Very cunningly I dodged the questions that I have raised at the beginning. Life, the purpose of life, try to figure it out by yourself but mark your surrounding in such a way that you never feel unhappy.

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